As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Every single one of us is born with an inner resource that, if nurtured and encouraged at a young age, would’ve given us a deep reliance on our own ability to handle what comes at us and live the life we know we deserve.
However, as we get older we become conditioned to seek the approval and guidance of others and follow how we are “supposed” to behave instead of trusting our own. The end result? Massive self-doubt, crippling indecision, constant desire for approval, perfectionism, and the fear of failure.
Does this sound familiar?
If this sounds familiar, it’s time to work on rebuilding your intuition… your inner GPS system. Self-trust is your birthright. It was yours at the start and still lives inside you, sitting there unbroken and waiting for you to allow it to shine through. Imagine having your internal GPS guide you to where to go next. You are willing to take risks and feel free to live your life without carrying the guilt and shame of what others think of you. When you can fully trust yourself, it’s so much easier to accept and love yourself too!
Here are some guidelines for building self-trust so you feel comfortable listening to your inner voice:
Ask yourself what you’re really scared of
Before you can start to build self-trust, it helps to understand what is fuelling your lack of trust in yourself. Are you scared to fail? Or maybe you’re scared of being rejected or feeling ashamed of yourself. You might have to look pretty deep to get to the bottom of your fears but it’s a good starting point for your positive self-talk.
Don’t hide behind your emotions
How often do you allow yourself to truly accept your emotions? A big part of self-trust involves learning not to hide behind your emotions. This helps you to have greater trust in what you’re feeling.
Slowing down and taking time every day to connect with your thoughts and emotions is super important for tuning into your intuition. Sometimes, you just need a bit of silence to quieten your mind and successfully get in touch with your emotions. Get curious about your emotions. What are your emotions trying to tell you? To teach you? Mindfulness can be a great way to do this.
Learn from your mistakes and forgive yourself
We all mess up from time to time and admitting this to yourself doesn’t mean that you can’t trust your gut instincts. Don’t allow your past to be used as evidence to not trust yourself. When we forgive ourselves, we heal from the past and breathe new life into our experiences. We can let go of being perfect, we can let go of beating ourselves up about what happened. It’s okay to get things wrong – the important part is that you resolve it and to learn from the situation.
Stay true to yourself
Knowing your priorities and values in life are super important for self-trust. After all, if you’re acting in line with what other people expect from you, it’s pretty hard to know if you’re really doing the right thing! When you can truly trust yourself, you can know that you’re acting in the right way and that your intentions are right for you … whatever the outcome.
Stick to your guns
Trusting your instinct and not being swayed by what you think you should do is the cornerstone of self-trust. The latter is often affected by other people and can often override your own instincts. Learning to stick with your intuition and working out how to read it properly is a under rated way to practice self-love on a regular basis.
Develop heart centred awareness
True self-trust involves listening to what your heart is telling you, rather than letting a busy mind guide you. When we refer to the heart in this sense, it’s not just the physical heart. It’s much broader than this and also encompasses your inner voice and wisdom.
When the heart is open, it creates an ideal environment for love and compassion. Bypassing the conscious mind and not relying solely on your thought processes can open up a whole new way of trusting yourself and your emotions. It doesn’t always mean that you’ll be right with the decisions you make but it’s a lot more likely that any surprising curveballs happen for a reason. Instead of being ruled by your mind, you can become so much more accepting of yourself.
In contrast, negative emotions come to the fore much more frequently when your heart is closed off. Grief, shame, fear and self-loathing are just a few of the things you might feel in this scenario. Moving out of your head and learning how to start putting total trust in your heart can be scary but it allows these emotions to be dealt with. In the end, you’re in a much better place to show yourself the self-love and compassion you need.
Avoid people who shame and belittle you
We can distance ourselves from trusting ourselves by allowing ourselves to be surrounded by people who belittle or overly shame our truths.
If you feel unsupported by people you’re surrounded with, it’s on you to either discontinue a relationship or if that isn’t possible, to minimise time with those people and/or not discuss certain things with them.
Spend more time with people that support you and lift you up. Invest in those relationships and treat them like the gold that they are in your life. There is nothing more important than finding your soul people, loving them hard and letting them support and influence you for the better.
Start each day by turning inward
Instead of reaching for your phone first thing in the morning, reach for your journal or a book of inspiration. Take a moment for yourself. Try meditation, prayer, yoga or a breath practice. This action alone, when practiced every day, will help you redirect the focus of your attention from external to internal (to a deeper level) and will ultimately change the course of your life.
As with all areas of self-growth, the path of healing requires commitment. By following these guidelines, it will help you redirect your attention from the external to internal and allowing your inner resource to shine through.
To health and happiness,
My mission is to help as many women as I can break the chains of trauma so they can uncover who they are and rebuild a life they love.
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