Have you noticed that when you retell a story in your head or to others, you feel as if you are still reliving the event in that moment?
That is because the female brain, with it’s larger limbic system, connects emotions to thoughts 25% more than men. We are more likely to go back to the moment and FEEL all that we felt at the time.
And every time we RE-LIVE those events – by either telling a story, by sharing the memory or even by reminiscing, thinking and analysing the event, we STRENGTHEN the emotions felt TO that event…. It burns into our memory for future reference. Good or Bad.
When the events are negative, we tend to ruminate, overthink and over analyse on them (which women ALSO do more often than men). We can even put meaning where there is none and make it personal. For example, if you share an idea with a friend and they make a comment like ‘ oh yeah’, if you are already doubting yourself, you may take the comment negatively and further doubt yourself.
So Re-TELLING the story, trying to understand the event and WHY it happened can actually be VERY Detrimental to us as females. This is why constant talk therapy-like approaches can be quite traumatic for women. Or why we can’t ‘just get over it’.
We rarely feel better about our past by constantly talking about it.
We heal by releasing the thoughts, beliefs and emotions that are associated with the pain.
It is when we heal the residual stuff of the event, we will be able to see it from a different perspective. We will stop getting triggered by the event and see our own inner wisdom shine through so we can move forward without the pain.
What stories are you reliving that you can’t seem to shift past the pain?
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